From Step Away From the Slur by Rodolfo Mendoza-Denton in Psychology Today:
Researchers have identified two ways we analyze memories of events like a spat with our partner or getting called a bile-filled racial slur. If we take a self-immersed perspective, we look back in first person and ask, “Why did that happen to me, and why did it get to me so much?” By contrast, using a self-distanced lens means analyzing the same event as if we were a third-party observer: “Why did that bigoted comment get to him so much?”
Surprisingly, that one simple word change can quiet emotions. Participants who recalled in first person an upsetting event felt awful while remembering…
By simply switching perspectives—playing the memory as if it were a film scene—subjects grew calmer and more analytical …. When we think of a negative experience more like a puzzle and less like a personal burn, we automatically protect ourselves from pain.